Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Goto's statement to Tokyo District Court - Part 6

Mr. Toru Goto was finally released from the private prison in Feb. 2008 after 12 years and 5 months.  He had no one to rely on and no money on him, so he decided to walk to the Head Office of his church, which was 10 kilometers away.

Today's part is the final part of the Goto's statement submitted to the court. I will work on translation of the defendants' counterstatement.  You will know what the defendants say in the next post.


Original documents in Japanese are uploaded in the blog operated by the Association to Support Toru Goto's Court Case. The Association consists of 5 members from various background, mixture of current UC members(2) and non UC members(3). This article was translated by this blog's author from the Japanese texts in http://antihogosettoku.blog111.fc2.com/


Index of the Toru Goto's statement submitted to Tokyo District Court
  1.  Personal History
  2.  Joining Unification Church (1986)
  3.  First Confinement (Oct 1987 - Nov 1987)
  4.  After Escape from First Confinement
  5.  Second Confinement
    (1) Confinement in Niigata (Sep 1995)
    (2) Transferred to First Apartment in Tokyo (1997)
    (3) Transferred to Second Apartment in Tokyo (Dec 1997)
    (4) Miyamura's
    Deprogramming Work (5) First Hunger Strike – 21 Days (Apr 2004)
    (6) Second Hunger Strike – 21 days
    (May 2005)
    (7) Third Hunger Strike – 30 days
    (Apr 2006)
    (8) Release from Prison
  6. After Hospitalization
  7. At the End
------------------------------
    5.  Second Confinement
(8) Release from Prison

Around at Nov. 2007, my elder brother’s wife criticized me by saying, ”How much do you think it costs to maintain this apartment?   Do you know how badly you damaged the properties of this apartment?  These must be repaired when we move out.”  The damaged properties she mentioned were the kitchen shelves and accordion curtains which were broken when I repeated escape attempts and I was overpowered every time by the family members in Feb. 2001.  It looked like that financial burden to my family to maintain the apartment was becoming harder and harder.  Also they had a sense of crisis that they would have more troubles if I would carry out another hunger strike and starve to death.  Since around that time, it seemed that members among my family started to have different opinions what to do with the confinement.

Around in Jan. 2008, I demanded a mirror to cut my hair and entered to the room near the front door where my younger sister was.  My sister said to me in a strong tone, “Don’t come in.” and shoved me away by pushing my chest by her both hands.  I unsteadily stepped back, and my back hit the cupboard.  My physical strength was that level at that time.  However, at least 2 people were in the apartment to monitor me even if they were busy.  For example, it was on 3rd or 4th of April in 2006.  My grandmother died and my mother and younger sister attended the funeral in Yonezawa-shi, Yamagata.  At that time, my brother had a day off from work and came to the apartment to join his wife to monitor me.  It seemed that my brother filled the gap for that day as only my brother’s wife remained in the apartment. 
     
At around 4pm on Feb.10, 2008, my elder brother and his wife, my mother and my younger sister ordered me to move out from the apartment by saying, ”If you have no intention to verify the issues of the Unification Church, get out of here immediately.”  I was debilitated mentally and physically at that time.  I had continued to receive food sanction without adequate exercise for 1 year and 10 months since the end of the 3rd hunger strike.  I felt a sense of despair, emptiness as the confinement was protracted, and also I had a sense of loss as I lost everything.  I had been isolated from the society for 12 years.  I had nowhere to go and I would be homeless even if I was released.  I asked my family for some money by saying, “Give me some money.  Otherwise I can’t catch a train.”  My bother declined by saying, “No.”

They deprived me of precious time and all the opportunities by the confinement for many years.  When things did not go well, they kicked me out without any money.  I was furious about their outrageous act.   I fiercely protested by saying, “It’s cruel to kick me out without giving me any money after 12-year confinement.”  We got into a scuffle, and my family forcefully tried to remove me out of the apartment.  I resisted in vain by holding on to kitchen shelves, accordion curtain and any other places which I could, but I was lifted up and they pushed me out of the front door.  I was wearing just house dress without shoes.  I was pushed down (facing up) to the concrete floor of the hallway in front of the front door. 

When I couldn’t get up and remained lying down on the concrete floor, I overheard my brother’s voice, saying “Shoes, Shoes.”  Afterwards someone from inside threw my shoes at me.  Then the front door was shut and locked.  The back of my hand and wrist bled, and my sweater was torn.  I banged on the front door and I protested against the outrageous treatment in a loud voice.  When I repeated the protest, my brother shouted, “Shut up!” from inside of the front door.

I had no other way but to get on an elevator and go to the ground level.  At the ground level, I saw letter boxes.  A tag was placed to the room#804 letter box, and it was written “GOTO”.  Also I learned that the address of the apartment was Ogikubo 3-47-15, Suginami-ku.

Even though I became free, I was physically debilitated.  I had no personal belongings, no clothes to change, no guarantee of job and life.  I didn’t know where my friends were.  I was attacked by a feeling of anxiety how I would survive the situation.  As I didn’t know where the Unification Church was in Ogikubo area, I started to walk to the Unification Church Head Office in Shibuya,

I found a police box soon after I started to walk towards east on Oume Street.  I entered into the police box, and I complained that I had been confined in the apartment called Ogikubo Flower Home and I was just released.

The police officer seemed to be shocked to hear my words at the beginning.  But once I started to talk about the details of the confinement, which was that my family members abducted and confined me for forcible conversion from the Unification Church faith, the police officer’s attitude suddenly changed and he started to look at me suspiciously.  Even if I explained, he didn’t treat the matter seriously by saying, “Weren’t your parents together with you?  Didn’t they feed you?”  I couldn’t help but think that it was ridiculous and complete nonsense. 

At the very least, I wanted to borrow some money.  I said, “May I borrow some money? I have nothing on me."  The officer said, “Don’t you have any acquaintance in Tokyo”.  I only could say, “I was just released from the 12-year confinement, and I have no one to rely on….”  The request was rejected citing as an unidentified person.  I asked him to draw a direction to get to Shibuya, and I started to walk again.

The Shinjuku Skyscrapers, which Toru Goto
saw on the way to the Head Office.
http://www.worldtimes.co.jp/special2/ratikankin/100317.html
I was doing some exercises in the confinement room for 15 minutes daily even if I was suffering empty stomach during food sanction.  It looked like that the exercise worked and I could walk for a while.  I passed by a Ramen (Noodle) shop and a Donuts shop.  I couldn’t resist the smell, and I was dying to get in the shop and eat as much as I could.  There was no other option for penniless man, but continued to walk.  I turned right to the Yamate Street, and I saw Shinjuku Skyscrapers.  I got a real sense of being liberated, feeling  “Oh! I’m finally free.”

However, as I didn’t walk for a long time, my knees suddenly started to get sore when I entered Shibuya Ward.  At Hatsudai, my knees became very weak, and I had to bend forward.  I had to support knees by my both hands to walk.  Soon I found a stick and used it.  I continued at a very slow pace.

I felt pressed by the feeling that “I have to get there before the Head Office closes”.  It took about 4 hours to get to the intersection of Shoto 2-Chome in Shibuya.  But I couldn’t walk at all any more at the intersection due to acute pain on my knees.  Also it was already at night, and I didn’t know which way I should go.  At that time, I was wearing a sweater which was torn by the scuffle and old looking jersey knit pants, and leather shoes.  My hair did not look good as I cut them by myself.  I was using a stick, and I must have been looked homeless.  It was the coldest time in the year.   The feeling that I would be frozen to death came across.  I prepared myself for my martyrdom.

The intersextion, which
Toru Goto met a UC member
photo: www.worldtimes.co.jp
I was determined to go forward as much as I could even if I crawled.  I started to ask passerby how to get to the Unification Church.  The 2nd person I approached was accidentally a UC member who was on the way home.    Even if it was an accident, I was surprised by the mysterious encounter.  I felt God’s guidance, and I shivered with sensation.  When I explained the situation to the lady, she taught me how to get the UC Head Office.  After she realized that I couldn’t walk any longer, she called a taxi and paid the fare for me.

I was not treated as a human in the confinement.  I was so touched by the warm heart that I had not felt for so many years that I couldn’t stop tears running down.  Thus, finally I arrived at the Unification Church Head Office alive.

I explained the circumstances to the security man at the Head Office.  He couldn’t believe my story of 12-year-confinement, and treated me as a suspicious person.  But he contacted someone who was in charge of abduction/confinement issue.  The man said to the security, “I have information that a man called Goto was in held in confinement for many years.  This information came from a member who escaped her confinement masterminded by Pastor Takazawa.“  The security man started to believe me and let me enter to the Head Office building. 

They served a dinner for me, and offered to let me stay there for the night.  At the bed time, I went to the toilet.  I only could crawl to the toilet, and I realized that my physical state was so severe that I couldn’t use the toilet.  (I couldn’t stand up.)  It was around midnight when I was taken to Isshin Hospital in Kita-Otsuka by taxi.  I was diagnosed as malnutrition at the emergency department.  I was immediately admitted to the hospital as I was unable to walk.

After several checks, I was diagnosed as generalized muscular weakness, disuse muscle atrophy (when muscles are not used, muscles atrophy and they become small and weak), anemia as well as malnutrition.


6.  After Hospitalization

I was admitted to the hospital at around 2:00am on Feb 11, 2008.  I was unable to walk as I had acute pain on my knees when I tried to stand up.  I had to use a wheelchair until the end of the month.  Then I started to use a walker.  At around Mar.4, 2008, I started to use both a walker and crutches.  At around Mar.10, I started to use a stick, but I was not recovered enough to go up or down on stairs.  My rehabilitation continued and I was discharged from the hospital on Mar.31.  However, I could not run, nor walk faster.  If I walked for 30 minutes for shopping, I felt pain in my knees and ankles, and I had muscle aches in my thigh and calf on the following day.

I could sit cross-legged on a floor.  I could not sit (in Japanese way) with my legs tucked under me as I had pains in my ankles.  Even now 3 years after the release, I feel a sense of discomfort if I sit in Japanese way.  Also after leaving the hospital, I couldn’t get up from the cross-legged position unless my body is supported by my arms touching the floor.  I strongly feel that the 12-year-confinement and the damage to my knees by walking on Feb. 10 have affected my physical state even after leaving the hospital.

 A few days later, after I was admitted to the hospital, I suffered from gastroenteritis and had persistent diarrhea.  It seemed that my resistance of the internal organs was down due to the protracted confinement.  I hardly saw outside view during the 12 years and 5 months confinement.  After the light bulb of the table lamp blew at the beginning of 2006, I had to read without the lamp as captors did not replace it.  Also they stopped providing eye drops.  My eyesight was 1.5 before the confinement, but it was dropped to 0.2 at the time of release from the confinement.  Before the confinement, I could drive without corrective lenses.  I can’t drive without glasses now.  Of course, my driver’s license was expired, so I had to start all over again from scratch to get a license.

Mr. Toru Goto at the hospital
Photo by Mr Kazuhiro Yonemoto
2 days later after hospitalization, a journalist, Mr. Kazuhiro Yonemoto visited me in the hospital.  I recounted the story of the confinement to him, and I accepted  his request to take some photos of me for the interview. 

The next day, Mr. Yonemoto visited the Ogikugo Sunflower Home (the confinement apartment), and also visited Miyamura’s home for an interview.  Miyamura came out and Mr. Yonemoto could talk for a short while. 

According to Mr. Yonemoto, Miyamura admitted that he visited the confinement apartment to convert me.  Also Miymura said to Mr. Yonemoto, “It was because Goto did fasting.” in relating to the malnutrition due to abuses from family members. (Kazuhiro Yonemoto’s statement, dated on Mar.5, 2008)   It was Apr.2004 when I started hunger strike.  Miyamura’s last visit to me in the apartment was Feb. 2001.  It is very clear that Miyamura had constant contact with my family and continued to conspire to confine me.

I had no choice but to carry out hunger strikes in order to pursue to be released from the confinement.  If I did not go on hunger strikes 3 times risking my life (21 days in 2004, 21 days in 2005 and 30days in 2006), I would not have been released.  If they resumed normal meals after the hunger strike in Apr 2006, my weight would have been back to normal when I was released on Feb.10, 2008, which was 1year and 11 months later after the hunger strike.

I would like to add that I attended the Unification Church’s wedding ceremony in Sep. 2008 after the release, and got married.  As my wife did not have brothers and the family had no heir, I decided to change to my wife’s surname, which was Iwamoto.  I now feel small happiness to get married and settle down in my 40s after such a long time.


7.  At the End

Japan guarantees religious freedom.  Those acts such as confining me for 12 years and 5 months to make me leave the church, hurling criticism collectively at me, making me suffer physically and mentally by the abuses and forcing me to abandon my faith are nothing but tortures and must not be tolerated.  What kind of crime did I commit to deserve 12 years and 5 months confinement?  My elder brother and his wife chose by their free will to become the Unification Church members and had faith in the Unification Church.  After they left church, they lied by claiming, “They were forced to join the church against their will and forced to get involved with the church activities.”  Then they filed a lawsuit called “Lost Youth Compensation Case” against the Unification Church and won compensation from the church.

In comparing to that, I was continued to be confined in a small room since I was 31 years old until I was 44 years old.  They deprived me of not only my freedom of religion, freedom of marriage, freedom of choice in employment, freedom of movement and freedom of vote, but they denied and violated my human dignity.  They spoiled my precious life.   I continued to receive criticism, smear and defamation which denied humanity, and also violence to maintain the confinement room.  I received torture of food sanction, and I was continuously forced to decide to withdraw from the church.

I could not only receive any medical checks, but I was not allowed to go to a doctor in the 40 degrees temperature.  I was not released even when I was almost starved to death.  I have never heard of such crimes.  But my family members and Miyamura are unrepentant and poised to evade responsibility by saying – for example, “I didn’t know that the front door of the apartment was locked by a padlock.”

The more I experienced the cruel and brutal treatments from the captors, the more I was convinced that Miyamura and family members were evil creatures.  In spite of the physical and mental abuses during the 12 years and 5 months confinement, one of the reasons why I didn’t lose my faith was that I was determined not to join such evil group even at the brink of death.  And also I was filled with a sense of responsibility that I had to reveal these evil human rights violations to the public.

I would like to ask you to judge fairly, and wish you raise an alarm against the forcible deprogramming practices which are occurring even now carried out by the deprogrammers including Matsunaga or Miyamura.  I also wish not only for my personal relief, but these human rights violations in the forcible conversion practices are ceased.
-------------------
Translated by Yoshi
-------------------
xxx

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Goto's statement to Tokyo District Court - Part 5

Mr. Toru Goto carried out 21-day hunger strike in Apr 2004 and in May 2005, followed by 30-day hunger strike in Apr 2006.  He was almost starved to death after the 3rd hunger strike due to food sanction by his captors.

Original documents in Japanese are uploaded in the blog operated by the Association to Support Toru Goto's Court Case. The Association consists of 5 members from various background, mixture of current UC members(2) and non UC members(3). This article was translated by this blog's author from the Japanese texts in http://antihogosettoku.blog111.fc2.com/


Index of the Toru Goto's statement submitted to Tokyo District Court
  1.   Personal History
  2.  Joining Unification Church (1986)
  3.  First Confinement (Oct 1987 - Nov 1987)
  4.  After Escape from First Confinement
  5.  Second Confinement
    (1) Confinement in Niigata (Sep 1995)
    (2) Transferred to First Apartment in Tokyo (1997)
    (3) Transferred to Second Apartment in Tokyo (Dec 1997)
    (4) Miyamura's
    Deprogramming Work
    (5) First Hunger Strike – 21
    Days (Apr 2004)
    (6) Second Hunger Strike – 21 days
    (May 2005)
    (7) Third Hunger Strike – 30 days
    (Apr 2006)
    (8) Release from Prison
  6. After Hospitalization
  7. At the End
------------------------------
    5.  Second Confinement
(5) First Hunger Strike – 21 Days (Apr 2004)
In April 2004, I was attacked by feelings of uncontrollable anxiety and fear that I may have to spend the rest of my life in confinement.  As my fierce resistance to attempt to escape failed in Feb. 2001, this time I was determined to carry out 21-day hunger strike to protest the protracted confinement.

At the hospital
after release

I protested to my family by saying, "8 years have already passed.  The babies born at that time are 8 years old now.  This is a human rights violation.  The 30s in age are most productive age in life.  I was robbed of the most important 30s in this confinement apartment, isolated from the society.  You are responsible for that.  How many times do you think you robbed me of the rights to vote?  If you don't recognize this as human rights violations, your way of thinking is completely wrong.  Why you don't understand this?  You don't understand common sense.  This is a torture."  My family condemned me and demanded me to leave the church by replying, "You are not listening to people.  Think well with your head."

My brother's wife got hysteric while she was accusing me.  She sat on the tatami floor just in front of me, and she slapped my face by her hand with all her might.  She got agitated and continued to accuse me, and she slapped my face again in the same way.  She slapped me up to 4 or 5 times like this.  As she used to swim and she was masculine, my upper body heavily swung every time I was hit.  I always had pains on my face.  One day she had a plaster on the root of her thumb of the right hand.   It seemed that she hurt her hand.  This kind of violence started in April 2004, when I started the hunger strike.  And the violence was repeated until Sep. 2004.

My brother's wife bullied me cruelly.  At one time, she screamed agitatedly and said to me, "You've got to wake up."  She pulled my collar and poured ice water into my back.  When I was eating a meal after the hunger strike, she put a light stand just in front of me and placed a piece of paper on it to tease me.  She taunted me by saying, "Eat while you see this."   On the piece of paper, my sitting meditation style was drawn, and underneath the drawing there was a caption,"A man who is pursuing truth.  My name is Toru."    Such violence and abuses under the un-escapable confinement were extremely unbearable.  Even when I felt her presence, I felt scared, my heart beat became faster and my body became rigid.  Also she shouted abusive languages by saying, "A corrupt man at heart has no human rights." and she justified the abuses.

I often spent time by lying down towards the end of the 21-day hunger strike as I became weak and felt faint.  Even a small body movement became difficult.  I couldn't use toilet by standing position as I almost collapsed in the toilet. 

After the 21-day hunger strike, I started to eat with thin rice gruel.  It took a month to go back to normal meal.  I felt dizzy and faint during the time.  I was like a starving man in famine at the worst time.  It took one year for my body to regain my normal weight.

(6) Second Hunger Strike – 21 days (May 2005)

  In April 2005, I demanded some materials to study Korean language.  When my brother's wife and my sister rejected it, a heated argument started.  I protested by making loud noise by kitchen metal bowls.  I held the bowls in my hands and beat them each other.  But my family members never accepted my request.  The incident triggered me to carry out 2nd 21-day hunger strike. 

After the 21-day hunger strike, they only served me meager meals.  They sanctioned and abused me by depriving me of food.  I asked my brother's sister, "Why does it take so long to resume normal meals?At the first hunger strike, normal meals were served after one month.  Are you starving me to death?  Is it a kind of sanction?  When do you resume serving normal meals?”  She said, “I don't know."  She acted as if she didn't know.  The food sanction lasted for 7 months.  I suffered from dizziness for a long time, and I couldn't move my muscles as I wanted.

Photo taken at the hospital
after the release
I got athlete foot in my thumb of right foot during the confinement at the Ogikubo Flower Home.   Medication was initially supplied for it when I demanded.  After 2006, even if I demanded, they stopped supplying the medication.  The big toenail was deformed and it took one year to be cured after my release.  Also everyone including myself got eyestrain, and we all had eye drops.  They stopped supplying eye drops around at the same time when athlete foot medication was stopped.  I had eyestrain very easily.

At the end of 2005 or at the beginning of 2006, the light of the desk lamp blew.  I requested to replace the light bulb, but they didn't do it.









(7) Third Hunger Strike – 30 days (Apr 2006)
   
In April 2006, I demanded a notebook.  My brother's sister and my sister rejected it, and we started fierce argument again.  I thought I would not be released until I would do longer hunger strike than before.  I was determined to carry out indefinite hunger strike for the 3rd time.

At around 2 weeks after starting the hunger strike, it became difficult even to stand up.  Even to read a book or to think in my mind became difficult.  I spent most of the times lying down lifelessly even during the day.  At around the time passing 21 days in the hunger strike, which I experienced twice in the past, I became debilitated more and more.  I sensed that my life would be in danger if I would continue the hunger strike.  I said to my family that I would end my fasting on 30th day.  However, my family became furious against my resisting attitude.  They didn't serve rice gruel for one day even after I declared to end the hunter strike. 

As I was in starvation state, I protested by saying, "Are you starving me to death?"  My family still didn't feed me by saying "What are you saying?  You started the fasting and how can you demand food now?  Are you stupid?  Continue until you die."  I thought, "I would be killed", and I was filled with tremendous fear.

As there was no other option, I had to prostrate myself and beg my family for food.  On the following day, my family started to serve me thin rice gruel 3 times a day in small bowl (7cm diameter and 5cm depth) and thinned sports drink (500cc) called Pocari Sweat twice a day.  When my sister was in bad mood, she delayed to sever the drink for twenty or thirty minutes.  Even if it was a delay for a short time, it was very hard to me.  I became under thumb of my family.

In the morning when thin rice gruel was served, I was sitting in the position where I couldn't see other people's meals.  My brother's sister banged on the table and said to me, "Sit here."  I was forced to move to a place where I could see everyone's meals.  As I feared that they would stop serving rice gruel and I would receive more abuses, I had to take the order in spite of autocratic demand.  Thus my brother's sister made me see their meals while I was in the starvation state, and she caused me psychological suffering.  I never forget this humiliation.

Such liquid diet lasted for 70 days, and solid food was not served during that time.  To take only the liquid food was equal to that I was not eating anything.  As a result, I was forced to continue the fasting for another 70 days after my 30-day hunger strike.  I became nothing but skin and bone, and I was on the verge of dying of starvation.  I was confronted with the fear of death, and my physical state was the severest at that time.    

While I shared a dinner table with my family for these 70 days, only one small bowl with thin rice gruel in it was served just in front of me in every meal.  If I picked it up and drank it, it finished within a few seconds.  If I took a sip little by little while I was watching my family eating their meals, it still didn't take more than 3 minutes.   

I developed a sense of danger around these days that I may die if this continued.  I quietly opened the refrigerator door without their noticing, and licked mayonnaise or seasoning.  But when I opened the door one day, all the seasonings were hidden and disappeared.

Triggered from the fear of death from starvation, I stealthily picked up skins of carrots or apples from food scraps, and ate them in hiding.  When I bit the tiny bit of the apple attached to the skin, the sweetness of the apple spread in my mouth, and tears started to flow with joy.  But after a short while, even food scraps were also hidden and disappeared.

I sometimes became delirious, and I started to hear beautiful music out of nowhere.  It didn't take long to find out that it was auditory hallucinations.  I thought, "Someone may be here to welcome me from the spirit world, and this is a really critical moment."  This time I targeted the prepared rice in a bowl with water before being cooked.  I stole some raw rice from the bowl, and bit them in hiding.

At the hospital after release
My family prepared the rice in the bowl with correct amount of water, therefore the amount of water became relatively more than the rice.  The cooked rice became more watery, and it continued every day.  My family said in a searching voice, "The rice is watery recently."  I tried to stay calm, but I was desperately praying to God in my mind, "God. Please help.  Please don't let it be discovered. "  I was extremely concerned about the further sanctions which may be imposed if this was discovered.

The watery rice continued every day.  My family said, "This rice cooker was broken." and bought a new one.  They miraculously didn't discover what I did.  I anyhow survived the starvation crisis.   It was really beyond my imagination that my family members did such things to me.



I read a newspaper column during the confinement.  The column was about the young men (20s) of IRA (Irish Republican Army) who died of starvation from 40-day or 70-day hunger strike in 1980s.  I didn't have enough food except for liquid food after 30-day hunger strike.  I took rice and ate them to survive.  I worried that I would face major challenges of my survival if the situation continued.  I begged my family to resume normal meal at the beginning of July 2006.
 
It looked like that my brother feared that he was charged with murder if I died in this situation.  My brother said to other members of the family, "Isn’t it the time to resume normal meal?"  My brother's wife unhappily replied in dismay, "Unbelievable!"  When I heard the conversation among family members, I found out that my brother's wife intended to continue the nefarious food sanction until I would abandon the faith.  I felt that my brother's wife had hysteric hatred toward me who kept on refusing to abandon the faith.  She disregarded my life.  I got chills down to my spine to know her cold-heartedness.

However, they served only thicker rice gruel at first.  Then they made it thicker and thicker.  It took 4 months to resume normal meal.  After the 4 months, they served a piece of bread and a glass of drink for breakfast.  A meager meal was served for lunch such as a bowl of rice, a bowl of miso soup, 4 pieces of dried seaweed, pickles, small fish etc.  For dinner a bowl of rice, a bowl of miso soup, pickles, small shrimps, natto (soy bean product) without much side dish were served.  These kinds of meals lasted until the end of my confinement, and I suffered terrible hardships physically and mentally. While my family was eating normal meals, I was at the same table to eat the meager meals from the small plate (10cm in diameter).  I desperately felt like to eat things from their plates.

My brother's wife said, "What an awesome meal you have!" by pointing at my plate.  After the meal, the family members were eating desert, fruits or snacks in the room near the front door.  I was still hungry after the meal, and I became very sensitive to smell.  It was an unbearable experience and I collected apple's skin from food scraps and ate them.

I couldn't go to sleep at night because of hunger.  Menus such as Curry, Pork cutlet on rice, Gyoza, Ramen, etc, which I wanted to eat but I couldn't eat came up in my mind at the bedtime.

Around in Sep. 2006 when Mr. Abe formed a government in Japan, my sister attempted to take some videotapes when she was cleaning the room.  When I tried to get them back, I got into a scuffle with my sister.  My sister damaged the videotape.  My brother's wife joined the scuffle, and she took a TV antenna from the room.  As my sister alone physically overpowered me, I didn't even have the energy to take the antenna back from my sister-in-law.  I even couldn't watch TV from that day, and it caused further mental suffering.  My sister started to treat me badly as the confinement in the room was protracted.  My brother's wife and my sister did not like me watching TV.

One day, my brother's sister took books away from my room.  I went to the room next to the front door to get the books back.  My sister-in-law said in a strong tone, "Don't come." And I was banned to enter into the room beyond the accordion curtain.  I feared that I would have further food sanction; I couldn't help but be compliant with the order.

I remember that after the 3rd hunger strike my family mentioned to me a few times that I could leave.  Even if I heard such words, I couldn't believe they were saying seriously because of the violence that my family did to me, or my experiences of abuses such as food sanction.  Rather, I could not help but understand that it was their intention to use their comments as excuses to avoid accusation of confinement in case of criminal charges for the future filed by me.

Some mechanic (to repair air-conditioner etc) visited the room a few times.  I couldn't ask them for help by the following reasons.

Firstly,  My brother always monitoring me near the mechanic.  While my brother was staring at me, it was impossible to ask for a help to the mechanic.

Secondly, A man came to the room to fix the air-conditioner in Summer in 2000, and I learned the man was an acquaintance of Miyamura from the conversation between the man and my brother.  I couldn't ask such person for a help.  Also as there were possibilities of other agents' connection to Miyamura or my family, I couldn't ask for a help to such other agents


Thirdly, I received mental and physical abuses in the closed confinement room from Miyamura, former UC members and family members since being transferred to the Flower Home #804.  Such abuses were already mentioned in my statement.  For example, the abuses include the defamation targeted at me by many, psychological suffering caused by their criticism, physical suffering by overpowering me when in the escape attempt, severe food sanction after the hunger strikes (twice of 21 days, and once of 30 days).  The fear of abuses was increasing from the past treatment of harsh abuses.  In fear of the failure to ask for a help to such mechanic/agents, I couldn't ask such agents for help.
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Translated by Yoshi
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